My Re-Birthday – What happened to me…

I received today in the afternoon birthday wishes from my brothers Martha, Ximena and Taka of the Miracle Center in Bogotá via Live Messenger. My first reaction was: What day is it? And when I was told that it is the 9th of March I had an immediate memory of that awesome and unforgettable Experience I had 17 years ago in South Mexico when I disappeared for an instant and forever in the universe, merging with everything and everyone. It changed everything, particularly me.
Then, while I was still chatting with my friends, I received a phone call and was asked if I could come and help out with a party which later came out to be a birthday party. How lucky me! To serve and give the Light of Heaven to a celebrating child in a group of noisy kids with parents was exactly what I needed today to remember what my function here is: to give and to be happy. I am extremely happy! And here is my own story what happened to me on this journey down to Central America in the year 1990, to find God. The only way, that it could possibly have happened, was that God found me! That’s the way it works…
I was ready to see that I needed a ‘living Master’, One Who could give me a clear reflection of myself. I started again to communicate with God and asked for help. I resumed communicating with Jesus and knew I was not alone in this journey.
All this led me to an EXPERIENCE OF ONENESS that would bring about a significant change in what I called ‘my life’ since the beginning of 1990, but really was just the beginning of my journey back Home.
This Experience did not occur for me as result of my efforts as expressed in a “spiritual-seeker-identity.” It happened by Grace. Though this Experience kept me for weeks in a kind of a shifted perception, once I was back in my home country, Austria, I thought that I would have to look some more. Though I never doubted this Experience to be a real one, I was still looking for a teaching I could apply in daily situations to stay in a certainty and constancy of truth.
The first key-event in which I had an Experience of oneness and underwent consciously the death of the body and all the fear in me took place just under the ruins of the Maya-Pyramids in Palenque, Mexico, in the beginning of March 1990, the 9th. Some notes I wrote in my diary about this Experience follow here:
All forms were seen in their center from radiant to bright-shining to yellow-green. At the circumference the colors turned into the corresponding rainbow-colors…. Countless recognitions occurred for me within the infinity of the universe which opened my eyes to seeing the falsity of my insane world and the meaninglessness of everything.
I called on my friend and felt that I didn’t differ from her but was One with her; in fact was her. I stared out to the stars and recognized, though they had no meaning, the vastness of the universe. I could only think of
my world by making utmost effort and saw that it had no meaning either. A new thinking took place; a Being there-in. I became the event myself, each moment anew, and had the knowledge that there is only this
moment. I looked around and whatever I saw I recognized as ALIVE, as a living Being, a living Spirit, as pure Light. It became clear to me that I was not separate from anything, but that we are all ONE, all one Divine Consciousness, one Singular Creative Power, just appearing as some dream figures that are simultaneously converted to the Light That they really are. Thus I was greeting stars, clouds, trees, bushes, humans and grass blades in the same manner and showed them my humility, saying “Thank you” to all of them for allowing me to be with them, to be able to meet them once more and leave this place together forever….
I thought I had understood everything there is to understand and underwent the Experience that up to this moment I called ‘death’. Instantly I knew that there is NO death, but that God and Love is in me and lasts eternally. It revealed to me how great LOVE can be in me and that It IS THE MOST IMPORTANT and makes the only sense in “my life.” I was grateful and clear that everything will show up here for my
salvation, in this moment, and reveal itself as what I am and what I had decided for. Time was clearly seen as non-existent. I found myself only NOW as all there is, happening spontaneously and simultaneously.
Neither was there space in a time reference, but pure Spaciousness as the experience of extension of that Power. And I was only HERE, which had nothing to do with a location or manifestation. In fact all manifestation was recognized as nothing in this Light.
I could not feel any heartbeat and didn’t know anymore if I was physically dead or from a medical standpoint, defined as ‘alive’. I thought I was dead but was still the Soul which is, as being the life essence, also where a body is experienced, but not confined to it. I experienced myself in communication with everything and everybody, all of Self, whatsoever came to me as a thought-form into my mind. At the same time I felt every single hair touching the face when I was shaking the head.
But I was also amazed how much I found myself being able to love all the beings that were around me. It had nothing to do with the body.
Suddenly a feeling of panic struck me that I would not be able to get out of this world anymore and would be at the mercy of the “dark night” and the force of darkness and death, lying like dead in a coffin, this physical world, covered by clouds or a blanket instead of the wooden cover. That was how it felt. Not to be able to experience anymore the light of the daytime nor to realize what I considered a fulfillment of my purpose here brought about an incredible fear and terror.
Everything moved like a cyclone toward its center where insanity seemed to be. This was the fear: to become insane, to die, to be nothing. It felt like being on the razor’s edge. In spite of all of this I was always myself, and I put my hands on my stomach and heart and spoke to myself: “I love you (and thought of my friend and surprisingly of Lao Tsu), I love life, I keep with God, with love, with meditation….” For the first time I felt my need to love and only love. I realized the unimportance and meaninglessness of my so-long-defended worldly existence. I recognized and accepted my true purpose for being here; to love all of myself including myself as my Self. Nothing else.
I had a look at my toes and they looked so pale and shrunken and I knew that this body had NOTHING to do with me. I was not able to die. What was left of this re-birth was GRATITUDE, infinite gratitude towards all of Creation, though everything I could see and experience I knew was and is my Self….
These revelations were not only an immense enrichment, but contain for me an essential and personal Experience of Oneness with all the universe and the recognition that THERE IS NO DEATH. Since then I could not doubt anymore the truth that there is only ONE Singular Reality because I could experience It myself.
This is an excerpt from my book “Only One Love IS.”  Thank you for joining with me by reading it. If you are interested to read more, download it freely or order a copy, please visit the website .
I love you.


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